Not Good Enough to Win SPL?

28-Oct-2007 Dundee Utd 2   Rangers 1
23-Oct-2007 Rangers 0 Barcelona 0
20-Oct-2007 Rangers 3 Celtic 0
06-Oct-2007 Rangers 0 Hibs 1
02-Oct-2007 Lyon 0 Rangers 3
29-Sep-2007 Motherwell 1 Rangers 1

Looking back you may think that Rangers are doing pretty well.  A 3-0 home win over ‘tic; a 3-0 away win over Lyon; and a 0-0 draw at home against Barcelona.
However, in the SPL, there is a home defeat against Hibs, a draw against Motherwell, and the most recent defeat against Dundee Utd (Not to mention a 4-2 defeat at Hearts).

There are no excuses for these results. Many of these teams are under new management, have new players and have much less to spend than Rangers.
Against Hearts, Hibs, Motherwell and Dundee Utd, Rangers started very badly, and let the opposition take the initiative.

Walter and Ally were far too slow in making tactical changes and changes in personnel.  Indeed, it is debatable if the correct personnel were put on the park to begin with.

It does not look like good news that we have signed the likes of Amdy Faye on Loan for a full season.  There is nothing to suggest that he should pull on a blue jersey ever again.  That is down to the player.  He must realise that if you run on to the park wearing a Rangers jersey then much, much more is expected of you.

SPL teams are getting wise to Hutton and are now taking steps to prevent his runs, but that means opportunities in other areas are not being exploited.

Lee McCulloch, apart from being at fault with the Dundee Utd goal, did little to stand out from the crowd.  Cousin looked completely out of sorts.

Sasa Papac is improving game by game.  Kevin Thompson is also stepping up to the challenge.  Nacho Novo is always full of running.  I think it is time to see more of Steven Naismith.

Several areas where we need to improve enormously are in our passing, our set pieces and Throw-ins.  Barcelona gave us a lesson in passing and moving off the ball.  Rangers players need to be much fitter (Charlie Adam take note).

Rangers will have to perform much better over the rest of the season if we want to finish in the top two and a whole lot better if we want to win the League.

Lyon 0 Rangers 3

When I went to bed last night I could have sworn that I had just watched Rangers beat the French Champions by 3 goals to nil.  It must have been a dream.  Naw, I counldnae even have dreamed such a result.  It must have been the drink.

Woke up this morning and there it was, plastered over the back page of all the newspapers:

Lyon 0 Rangers 3.

Rangers defended well throughout and their goals were special.

Another strong surging run by Alan Hutton earned a corner, and Damarcus Beasley whipped in a powerful cross that took out three defenders to find Lee McCulloch whose header bulleted into the back of the net 0 – 1.

Second half, and Alan Hutton has the ball wide right midway into the Lyon half, a good cross to the feet of Daniel Cousin, who swivels and shoots past the helpless French goalkeeper 0 – 2.

Now the third goal was special.  If Ronaldo, Ronaldihno, or Wayne Rooney, made the pass that found DaMarcus Beasley, they would have been raving about it for weeks.  The pass opend up the Lyon defence and left Beasley with only the goalkeeper to beat, which he did very neatly, 0 – 3.

The first five or ten minutes were a bit unsettling  as Rangers struggled to retain possession and looked really quite vulnerable, but as the match progressed Rangers began to get more of the ball.

Whilst it was a great result, we must try not to give the ball away so easily against Barcelona, as this just gives our overworked defence so much more to do.  Having said that, to score three goals with so little possession is pretty clinical.

The blatant dive by Juninho was no accident.  Players on the continent actually practice this in their training sessions.  They ARE professional cheats.  The booking against David Weir should be rescinded and passed on to the real culprit, Juhinho, but  Eufa rules apparently as designed to protect cheats, and it is not possible to rescind a booking.

Luckily, someone up there does understand justice, and after his deviousness was exposed maybe it was more than luck that saw Juhinho’s efforts for the rest of the evening fail.

Motherwell 1 Rangers 1

The results from both Tynecastle and Fir Park have helped highlight problems in the Rangers ranks that need to be addressed fairly urgently.
In both these games Rangers were outplayed in the first forty-five minutes.

In the Motherwell game, I might even suggest outclassed by a team of former Rangers players.

We spent over £10M, supposedly strengthening our team, in the summer, only to get the run around by a team of players we let go for next to nothing.
That said, we did hit the cross-bar twice in the first half, and the Motherwell goal was offside, if only by a matter of a few inches.  But, to be fair to Motherwell, they could easily have gone in at half time 3-0 ahead.
In the second half, Rangers did change things around and put up a bit of a fight.  That was something that would not have happened last season.  Demarcus Beasley, got a penalty, by suckering Keith Lasley into knocking him over in the box, and Kris Boyd took a very good penalty kick to give us a draw.

Over the piece Kris Boyd did miss a number of chances, but the more observant amongst you will have noticed that most of these shots were taken with his left foot.  The penalty was taken with his right foot.  If we want to get the best from Kris, we need to set him up on his right side.

The big problems again emanated in the midfield. Steven Whittaker was quite rightly taken off at half time.  Steven has not yet got up to speed in a Rangers Jersey, and any number of players would currently provide better service.

The midfield problem is not just down to Whittaker, the current crop of midfielders is just not flexible enough to perform in a modern midfield.

This includes, arguably, our best player Barry Ferguson.  Barry is great at seeing passes, keeping possession and giving himself and others around him time to play.  However, an important part of the midfielder’s job today is chasing, harrying, winning tackles, and providing good defensive cover.  Of course, that is why Brahim Hemdani was our player of the year last year.

Our midfielders have only some of the attributes required, but their range is limited. They are almost too specialised.  Versatile players like Stuart Munro, Jorge Albertz, Alex McDonald or John Greig are the type of players we need in there, well one can but wish.

P.S.  Did Jean-Claude do the necessary warming up before coming on at half time and almost immediately pulling a hamstring?

Rangers 3 Aberdeen 0

Sorry for the delay in posting the match report, but a certain goalkeeper (who shall remain nameless, but has the initials AB, which must stand for ‘Av BotchedIt’, and played a significant role against Hibs at the weekend) has had me in fits of laughter.

Not only that, but  his manager said that he wanted his team to play like that every week and that he was fully satisfied with their performance.  Maybe he was watching a different game, because Hibs, as well as scoring more goals than them, also had more shots on goal.

But I digress, the Boys in Blue, are back at the top of the league after a well deserved victory over Aberdeen.  After a sticky first half,  Lee McCulloch let loose from 35 yards, the ball sailed in under the bar giving Jamie Langfield no chance.  Aberdeen had never really looked like scoring, and so the question was how many more could Rangers score before the end.

Steven Naismith, will have left the field with a good number of bruises, but more importantly, he also scored his first goal for Rangers.  I definitely prefer Naismith to Beasley.

Of course, Kris Boyd only ever thinks about one thing when he steps on to a football park, and he did just that, to finish off the scoring against Aberdeen.
Now, unlike wee ‘g’, whose team also conceded three goals,  Jimmy Calderwood was not satisfied with his teams performance and will not be happy if his team plays like that every week.

Walter Smith is rapidly becoming the master of understatement,  “I thought it was a poor challenge”, was his opinion on Diamonds tackle on Naismith.  “It’s nice to be top of the table, but it would be a lot more comfortable if it was the last game of the season”, he added.  Yer right there son.

Rangers 2 VfB Stuttgart 1

You see, the key to winning champions league games is to keep your cool under pressure, fix what is not working (quickly) and do NOT commit the cardinal sin of losing two goals in the first 10 minutes.

It took Rangers most of the first half to get to grips with the German Champions.  With only one up front it was obvious that Rangers were not going to be playing a pressing game.  Rangers followed the lead set by the national side in two victories over France, kept it tight and relied on the unexpected.

Although if anyone had been paying attention to the form of Alan Hutton they would have realised that he would be a real danger.  I have already mentioned how hard he is to stop, once he gets going, and last night when he set off on one of his runs, he could easily have ended up in Stirling had he not stopped and passed to Charlie Adam.  Charlie, not to be outdone by Hutton’s impressive run which took him passed five German tackles, cut inside another hapless Stuttgart defender and passed a curling shot neatly into the net for Rangers Equaliser in the 64th minute.

With 15 minutes to go, it was Hutton again, who made a surging run into the box, touched the ball passed Fernando Meira, and then crashed into the defenders late tackle.  Clearly, a penalty, and a very cool Jean-Claude Darcheville sent the goalkeeper one way and the ball slammed into the net.

Of course, things did not look too bright in the 55th minute when Ferguson had to go off with a hole in the back o his heid and brains oozing oot all over the place and those sneaky German’s copped a goal when we wisnae ready.  However, they took him back to the workshop, Walter did some reprogramming, and they patched him up with duck tape.   Rangers were then ready to do some business.

One thing that did cause concern when Barry was off the field was the blindingly obvious realisation that there was no one willing or able to take charge and organise Rangers efforts. In a night which saw a good result we will not be too critical of the team and will instead give honourable mentions to Allan Hutton, Jean-Claude Darcheville, Barry Ferguson, and Charlie Adam for his goal.

All in all, a good night for Rangers.

New Football Boots for Lazy Rangers Players

Walter Smith and Ally McCoist were not amused after watching a lackadaisical performance against Hearts at the weekend.  It appeared that some players were content to put on their kit, let the wind blow around their knees and watch the grass grow.

Ally, always full of ideas has been in talks with Nike, who have offered to make available a new football boot that will induce a 50,000 volt shock to any player who does not register a certain amount of movement during any 5 minute period.

Scottish Power, after hearing about the new footwear have offered a new sponsorship deal with the club, and have stated that they would be willing to supply voltages up to 250,000 volts.

 

Hearts 4 Rangers 2

We have no complaints, said Rangers Manager Walter Smith.

We were disappointing, said Rangers Manager Walter Smith.

All the players gave 110% said Hearts Christophe Berra, and he was NOT talking about the Rangers players.

This was the WORST Rangers defensive performance against hearts for over 70 years.

So what went wrong?  Were the players out on the town last night?

Hearts had more spirit, wanted it more, and went after it.  This kind of performance from Rangers will not be tolerated.  Too many players went out onto the pitch today and tried to hide. No one wanted to take responsibility.  The midfield stood and watched as the ball just passed them by.

Steven Whitaker, Amdy Faye, Demarcus Beasley and Kevin Thompson, played like stuffed sheep.  These players gave no support to either their defence or their forwards.

 Amdy faye showed all the reasons why he has been on the transfer merry-go-round for the last few seasons, and no doubt that performances like this will see another exit at the end of the season.

Steven Whittaker, needs to give Alan Hutton much better cover.  Steven needs to ensure that he stops giving the ball away.  He is only playing at 70% at the moment and that is not acceptable.

DeMarcus Beasley, despite his consolation goal today, is not giving us any more than Chris Burke, and Nacho Novo or Steven Naismith would certainly contribute much more both defensively and creatively.

Kevin Thompson is another player only giving us 70%-80%.  These types of performance may have been acceptable for Hibs, but they are most definitely not acceptable for Rangers.  Kevin needs more buzz and bite and much crisper passing to the men in blue.

Players who could come back into contention for a midfield place are: Thomas Buffel, Lee McCullock, Chris Burke; Nacho Novo; Steven Naismith; Brahim Hemdani (who would definitely tightened up the defence); and Charlie Adam.

There are always lessons to be learned from a defeat such as this.  In fact, if the Rangers players and coaching staff learn all the lessons to be had from today’s game then, we will take away much more from the defeat than the three points we dropped.

In particular our use (or lack ) of dead ball situations, free kicks, corners and throw-ins is of critical importance.  When we take a throw-in the team completely ignore the players taking the throw-in, consequently we lose possession at over 50% of our own throw-ins.

Taking quick free kicks keeps the game moving and can catch the other side unprepared, but only if our own players are ready and prepared to take advantage. This was not the case today.

Corners are one of the worst aspects of Rangers offensive armoury.   Either they are floated-in to grateful goalkeepers waiting arms or weakly crossed to defending heads.  The ball is not being struck well enough or accurately enough.  The players waiting in the box are much too stationary and need to be making timed runs onto well struck crosses, in order to up our conversion rate.

Indeed, mobility is one of our major flaws at the moment.  We were unable to keep up with the Hearts players today, especially in the first half, and when we do get the ball no one is willing to run into the open spaces.

All in all, we have a lot of work to do both on the training ground and on the pitch.

 

Rangers Players have been checking up on what we are saying about them!

So let’s give them something to think about.  Like a wee look in the gaffer’s little black book?

Roy Carroll – Experienced goalkeeper, reliable in an emergency.
Graeme Smith – Looking for him to prove himself longer term and keep Allan on his toes.
Allan McGregor – Has done well, confident and reliable, needs to work harder if he wants to be thought of as highly as Andy Goram.

Kirk Broadfoot – Has done well since arriving from St. Mirren.  He needs to work on being a Rangers player.  That means having more confidence in himself, the players around him, and raising expectations.
Ugo Ehiogu – His goal against Celtic has endeared him to the Rangers fans. He is a little bit more mobile than marvellous Marvin and almost as fearsome.
Andy Webster – This guy is a right slacker. He has been with us for over a year now and played only once in the first team.  What is it about these guys that could’nae climb a set o stairs without going over on their ankle.  Needs a few games to sharpen up, but should be up for the job when the auld yin needs a rest.
Steven Whittaker – Showed us plenty of talent when on holiday in Edinburgh.  Needs to realise that as a Rangers player passing to guys in green shirts in a definite no no.  Show him the various strips for the coming season.  Seriously, needs to be a bit more alert and keep possession for the team.  He fancies himself as a striker.  KB is going to put him right, I hear.
Carlos Cueller – Someone who actually understands what Nacho is saying when he goes off in one of his rants.  Better looking than Nacho too, so he says.  We gave him the nickname of elastic legs here a few weeks back for his unnatural ability to stretch out a leg and pull the ball back from 20ft away.  Seriously, he as been a great asset to the side, and is definitely faster than the Auld Yin.
Allan Hutton – Opposition wingers claim to have been mugged as they try to run down the flanks here at Ibrox these days.  Has put in a power of work and fully deserves his international call-up.  When he starts on a run, he is difficult to stop.  Changing direction during these runs is still proving a problem.  Will get steering checked.
Sasa Papac – Is improving every game.  I am not too sure about him getting ‘English’ lessons from Coisty.
Steven Smith – Still struggling to get over groin and hernia problems.  Wee Stevie has promised to give up career in Adult films.  He performed really well last season, and his football wisnae bad either.  He will certainly help the team when he is back to full fitness.
David Weir – Who said that he has the wisest auld heid on the park? Or, wis it the auldest wise heid on the park?  David is proving that pace isnae everything, and when someone gets past him then, well that why we have ‘Elastic Legs’ go after him.

Charlie Adam – Another wise Guy. He likes to put the ball in the net from free kicks when the goalkeeper is not looking.  Good idea son.  Still needs to think about his game and keep his composure.

Chris Burke – On the brink (of buying a round I hear).  Will he make the grade?  Chris has loads of talent.  He needs to take a few tips from Ronaldinho when he comes to Ibrox.  Coisty would like to see him give DaMarcus a run for his money.

Brahim Hemdani – Does a great job in midfield protecting our defence.  Often wonders why the other lazy b’s in midfield don’t help out more.  BF has promised to put in a defensive shift if Brahim scores more goals.

Kevin Thompson – Looks better than he plays.  Well, can you guess who said that?  Kevin is another guy who holiday’d in Edinburgh for a while.  Step it up lad, and pass to the boys in BLUE.  SW has offered to give you shooting lessons.  Hope you like grouse (no not the famous kind).  Do your own thing; don’t let BF get in your way.

Amdy Faye – Newcastle, Portsmouth, Charlton.  You need to brush up on your geography. Not seeing too many goals from you so far in your career.  How about a shooting party with SW and KT?

Thomas Buffel – Another guy who took a nasty turn leaving the bar when BF asked who’s round it was.  Should be back soon. Has promised to show SW, KT and AF where the 18-yard box is, and that there are no passwords needed to get in.

Barry Ferguson – Well what can we say about Barry that will not upset him?  OK, don’t mention those extra pounds, his wife beats him up if he dis’nae eat all of his dinner.   OK, he is not lacking pace from those extra pounds.  A couple of the strikers have said his eyesight is going too, he never see’s their runs into the box…ooops don’t say that either (sorry KB!).  Barry has had his shooting boots on this season and found his way into the box.  He wants to thank TB for showing him the way.

Lee McCulloch  -  Another guy needing a geography lesson.  Wigan?  Lee walked into JJB to buy some new golf clubs and ended up in WIGAN.   However, Lee is a battler and just like he battles for Rangers and Scotland, Lee found his way to Murray Park.

DaMarcus Beasley – Has found the back of the net at crucial times this season.  Sasa said that he fell over  DaMarcus’s bed on the left wing on several occasions this season.  DaMarcus, you need to stay awake and contribute the whole time you are on the pitch.  Yes we know that you have complained about BF’s eyesight too.  CB is still planning your downfall, so beware, he is a sneaky little blighter.

Kris Boyd – No he does NOT have a chip on his shoulder…more like a whole potato field.  Still scoring goals, and making more of a contribution during the game.  The gaffer is only allowing one bed on the park these days and currently DaMarcus has first dibbs.  Needs to cool it sometimes, and not throw in tackles for retribution’s sake.  Wee Stevie says he will take care of business when he gets back.  We were thinking to give him a run in the reserves as a Centre Half, just to see the striking role from a different perspective.  Well if the Auld Yin can play that position then KB should have no problem.

Daniel  Cousin – Knows the way to goal, fast and works hard.   That’s what your Dad told us when we signed you.  Three goals so far.  Yes you are faster than what Coisty was when he played, but don’t tell him that.  Let our super talented know it all have some dignity.

Nacho Novo – Got the goal that saw us into the Champions League.  Fast, tricky, loads of effort, just wish he would not insist on wearing these square toe’d football boots.   Wanted to go on shooting party, but has been ruled out on grounds of national security, even Dick Cheaney (US vice president) has declined.
Steven Naismith – Another sleeper, almost missed the transfer deadline, still in bed and it was almost midnight.  No he hadn’t just gone to bed.  He just had not got up yet.  Has promised to show KB a thing or two.

Jean-Claude Darcheville  -  Puts himself about and works hard.  BBC commentators were discussing his attributes as Ox-like.  I would say that he can certainly do the job that Dado did, and a few defenders will be asked by their sweathearts if they walked into a brick wall. Definitely like what he has done so far.

Alan Gow – The competition at Ibrox is a bit tougher than what it was at Falkirk.  However, Alan and JC could make a good partnership in European games when defenders have to be kept occupied.
If you have anything to add, or if one of the other players wants to contribute,  anonymously of course, send us a comment (will not be published) and we will see what we can do.
Thanks due to those who would rather not be mentioned, just make sure that the cheque is in the post.

Are You Being Screwed by Setanta

I have been a Setanta customer since November 2004, and was extremely pleased when their current television advertising campaign announced that their monthly charge was only £9.99.

However,  when I checked my account, I found that they were still charging me £15/month.  (The b@st@r*s)

I called and asked them to reduce my charges to their current advertised rate of £9.99/month and to ask this to be back dated to when the new charges came into effect.

This is something I would expect any good decent and honest company would have done automatically without the customer having to ask.

If you are a Setanta subscriber, check that you are not being overcharged, and watch out for any more sneaky overcharging in the future.

I wonder if Scottish Clubs are being paid extra for the wider viewing audience, now that Setanta have a number of English Premier League subscribers who are able to watch the Scottish games?

August Awards for Walter Smith and Carlos Cuellar

With Rangers sitting pretty at the top of the Scottish Premier League and a defence tighter than the proverbial you know what; it was time for some recognition and appreciation awards.

The Clydesdale Bank, sponsors of the SPL, had their panel of Scottish football experts (Not journalists then?) choose the award winners.

Manager of the Month was Walter Smith.

Player of the Month was Carlos Cuellar.

You can vote online at http://www.cbfootball.co.uk/monthly.aspx