New Football Boots for Lazy Rangers Players

Walter Smith and Ally McCoist were not amused after watching a lackadaisical performance against Hearts at the weekend.  It appeared that some players were content to put on their kit, let the wind blow around their knees and watch the grass grow.

Ally, always full of ideas has been in talks with Nike, who have offered to make available a new football boot that will induce a 50,000 volt shock to any player who does not register a certain amount of movement during any 5 minute period.

Scottish Power, after hearing about the new footwear have offered a new sponsorship deal with the club, and have stated that they would be willing to supply voltages up to 250,000 volts.